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Why does a person need reassurance

Even the most secure people need reassurance sometimes. Even if you need lots of validation, this is nothing to be ashamed of. A reassurance deficit may keep us on the wheel of continually looking outside ourselves for validation to help us feel valued and grounded. If we grew up with lots of shaming , criticism, or neglect, we may not have developed a secure internal base.

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Why Seeking Reassurance is Not Always a Good Thing?

Kayla’s Perspective – The Problem With Reassurance

Even the most secure people need reassurance sometimes. Even if you need lots of validation, this is nothing to be ashamed of. A reassurance deficit may keep us on the wheel of continually looking outside ourselves for validation to help us feel valued and grounded. If we grew up with lots of shaming , criticism, or neglect, we may not have developed a secure internal base.

Our sense of self develops through our interactions with others. Seeking reassurance can be a healthy expression of our vulnerability.

Our emotional well-being requires validation and reality checks from others. But there are pitfalls to giving and receiving reassurance. Although their intention is good, their advice may leave you feeling worse! If you are feeling afraid, you may now have an added dose of shame — believing that something is wrong with you for feeling that way! We feel comforted through caring and empathy. But most often, people simply need your empathic ear and caring heart. A human connection usually offers the most comfortable reassurance, rather than your advice or perspective.

Feeling heard offers the reassurance that your friend is not alone. Being with them in their struggle is inherently reassuring. It takes courage to reach out and ask for help or support when needed. Do you have some time… or when would be a good time to talk? Would it be ok to talk with you about it? Be a bit careful about taking too much time when seeking reassurance from a friend. People have limited time and attention spans.

You may want to check in with the person or use your intuition about when it feels like enough—when you or your friend has reached a limit. A good friend may tell you. Others may not want to offend you, but may distance from you if there is not a balance between speaking and listening. At some point—or on a different occasion—you can reciprocate by offering your presence, attention, and caring to your friend. But you may want to consider seeking a therapist about a stubborn or recurring issue.

A big obstacle around seeking reassurance is this: Do we let it in when we get it? No one is totally self-sufficient, even if they pretend to be. A reciprocal sharing of our humanity, including our need for reassurance, builds trust and connection.

He has been a licensed marriage and family therapist for forty years in the San Francisco Bay area and has lectured and led workshops internationally, including at universities in Hong Kong, Chile, and Ukraine. For more information, articles, and free videos, visit his website at: www. Find help or get online counseling now. By John Amodeo, PhD. Letting It In A big obstacle around seeking reassurance is this: Do we let it in when we get it?

One comment:. Psych Central. All rights reserved. Hot Topics Today 1.

How to Stop Seeking Reassurance for Your Worries

This post may contain affiliate links. Read our disclosure page for full details. That was me just a few short years ago.

It has been months since we started talking. I miss the days when you kept asking where I was, if I got home safe, if I get enough rest.

Seif, PhD , and Sally M. We all seek out the type of reassurance that works well to calm a doubt, allay a worry, solidify a plan of action, or guide a decision. However, people with anxiety or obsessive compulsive disorder OCD sometimes get caught in a relentless quest for reassurance; never feeling satisfied enough to move on. Being stuck in reassurance-seeking can lead to paralysis in decision-making, haunting worries about making a mistake or causing harm, insecurity, and self-doubt. Searching for reasons why you have become stuck is almost no help—and more often than not actually increases the internal debate.

Reassurance: How it prevents recovery

Excessive reassurance seeking is the need to check in with someone over and over again to make sure everything is OK with respect to a particular worry or obsession. While responding may seem supportive, it only serves to perpetuate OCD behaviors and thoughts. Excessive reassurance seeking is a compulsive act done in hopes of reducing the anxiety associated with an obsession. What people feel the need to be reassured about varies, but there are often consistent themes for each individual. Running through a few hypothetical examples can help illustrate the various forms this tendency can take and how those around people with OCD may respond. Paola experiences obsessions related to hitting someone while driving her car and not realizing it. When on the road, she asks her husband to look in the rearview mirror over and over again to make sure that pedestrians are safe.

If You Love Someone With OCD, You May Need to Stop Reassuring Them That Everything Is OK

And given that an estimated 2. The downside is that it only works for a short time, and the more you engage in rituals, the more it feeds the OCD. For instance, fighting to appease distressing visions of my infant daughter dying in a fire, I would stand in front of the stove touching the knobs in repetitions of five, never quite sure that it was truly off, doubting my own senses. The problem is that having complete certainty on anything in our world is not realistic.

These are examples of people giving reassurance to someone else.

Dearest humans! Hello and happy Monday! Today I wanted to address something that we frequently do for our loved ones that may be causing more harm than good: providing reassurance.

Some Reassuring Thoughts About Needing Reassurance

Call or Text info monicaramundatherapy. Worry is a common emotion that many people feel. However, anxiety disorders can make people worry constantly about almost everything.

Most people seek reassurance at some point or another. The vast majority of all people did this kind of thing on a regular basis as children. But why is this the case? Well, the primary and most obvious reason is because anxiety disorder s create a tremendous amount of uncertainty. When we have a spike in anxious feelings or thoughts we become afraid, worried, and insecure. So naturally seeking reassurance on a constant basis develops as a reaction to all the stress and mental anguish that one has to endure when weighed down by excessive stress.

I’m Sorry I’m In Need Of Constant Reassurance

I feel like this is something that should just be common knowledge for everyone and shouldn't have to be said, but here it is anyway. I know so many people who are in relationships or who have been in relationships myself included where their partners weren't so great about giving reassurance. One of my friends had a boyfriend who whenever she would make it known she might need some reassurance and kindly asked for that, he called her needy, clingy and said she was asking for too much. It doesn't make you needy. It doesn't mean you're asking for too much. It doesn't mean you're super insecure. Sometimes you just need a reminder that you're loved, or to be assured that you're still wanted, or that things are going to be okay if they've been rough lately for whatever reason.

Excessive reassurance seeking is the need to check in with someone over and over again to make sure everything is OK with respect to a particular worry or.

Think about it: When you go a long time without talking to a friend, you almost feel compelled to reach out and validate your presence. So, you let him or her know, "Hey, I miss your face! Why not reassurance? Naturally, you might say, "I don't want to make anyone do anything he or she doesn't want to do," or "If the person can't do it without me asking, then the relationship isn't worth it.

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