Should i find a better boyfriend
Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love. By now you've probably noticed that looking for a good partner doesn't really work. Search all you want, the more you claw through masses of potential suitors, the more you find poor match after poor match. While, yes, action is better than inaction, the quality of your action still matters a lot, too.
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 7 Signs You're Dating the Wrong GuyContent:
- 45 Little Ways You Know You Have A Good Boyfriend
- How to Find a Good Boyfriend: 8 Uncommon Tips for Attracting an Amazing Man
- How to Find a Better Boyfriend or Girlfriend
- 25 Ways to be a Better Boyfriend
- 20 Tips on How to Be the Best Boyfriend
- How to be a Better Boyfriend: The Best She’s Ever Had
- I’ve started to feel like my boyfriend isn’t ‘the one’, should I leave?
- Women Share All The Things Men Could Do To Be Better Partners
- Should I Keep Trying to Find a Better Boyfriend?
45 Little Ways You Know You Have A Good Boyfriend
Jorge's relationship advice is based on experience and observation. He's seen many people—including himself—get seduced and hurt by love. By now you've probably noticed that looking for a good partner doesn't really work. Search all you want, the more you claw through masses of potential suitors, the more you find poor match after poor match.
While, yes, action is better than inaction, the quality of your action still matters a lot, too. There is a middle ground between forcibly looking for a relationship and just idly waiting until one falls in your lap. If you'll notice, most of the people in happy relationships around you found a partner without exerting much apparent effort.
Sure, they put effort into the relationship once it was established, but the search seemed easy. They just "randomly" met the person through a mutual friend, a dating app, or wherever. Well, people find a lot more success when they simply set the stage for a good relationship to happen and then let people come to them.
It was the way they approached dating that made the difference. Much of the time, they didn't even try to date at all. Think about it: People are coming and going all the time in your life.
There is tons of potential to find a good man because men are everywhere. If you're not finding the right match, the problem is not that you aren't looking hard enough-- it's that you're not living the kind of life that attracts the right person for you.
Hey, I'm not here to judge you or tell you how to live your life. There's nothing wrong with being single. But if you don't want to be single anymore and you want to start inviting great men into your life, scan your eyeballs over these tips on how to take a different approach to dating:. You might think you're focusing on the positive qualities that you want in a man, but chances are that you aren't.
Most people aren't. Often, people think they're looking for a "good boyfriend," when in fact they are simply trying to avoid crappy ones. When you're looking to avoid a bad relationship, your mental energy will be placed towards disqualifying guys that you're dating. You will be silently judging them, trying to pick out little "signs" that they're unworthy. You will be quick to shoo a guy away if he doesn't tick the right boxes.
I knew someone who had this dating style. She was a little older and had been scorned many times before. Because of that, her dating life consisted of watching the men she dated with paranoia, waiting for them to show signs of being "disrespectful," "unappreciative," "arrogant," and many other amorphous adjectives.
She was looking for a reason to reject them without even realizing it. She probably did this because in the back of her mind she knew that it was easier to just reject a guy than to take an emotional risk and try dating him even if he wasn't totally perfect.
Instead of trying to avoid a bad match, train your focus on the traits that you do want. Maybe the first guy you meet isn't what you're looking for, but he probably has some qualities that you can appreciate. Enjoy what he has to offer, and then move on. Learn to find and appreciate the things that you like about other people, and you might notice suddenly that there were a lot of potentially great boyfriends in your life already.
Does this mean that you should tolerate genuinely bad behavior from a guy? Should you be fine with it if he genuinely disrespects you by insulting you, constantly breaking promises, or physically harming you? Of course not. Just try to catch when you're overly focused on what you don't want and when you're rejecting guys prematurely because of it.
Well, yes, it's true that you are the final expert on what you want out of life. No one can know that better than you.
It's just that even you probably don't know it. Few people do without sufficient experience, and even then our desires can always randomly change. Lots of people have mental lists about what they want in a partner. All of that is theory, though, and as you acquire more experience dating, you'll find that much of it is worthless. This is why a lot of people are disillusioned when they first start dating or throughout the entire course of their lives, if they're stubborn enough.
It's nothing like what they wanted or expected. Don't just sit around thinking about what you want in a man. Don't just theorize about what makes a "good man" for you. You need to get out there and experience different people to understand relationships better.
Very, very, VERY few people that you meet will give you objective, unbiased love advice that is actually usable. These folks are nearly as rare as unicorns. Now, most people aren't trying to be biased when they give advice. They have good intentions, but usually their advice comes from their own agendas.
In other words, what they tell you might actually have nothing to do with you or your situation! Maybe Jessica was burned one too many times by men who were aloof, so now she advises you to stop dating a guy because he missed a few of your phone calls.
Maybe Miranda had a long-term boyfriend who was too clingy and suffocating, so now she encourages you to ignore a guy who has expressed "too much" interest in you because he's "creepy. Or maybe your mom is pressuring you to marry that doctor or lawyer or garbage collector who makes a great living, but who you're totally not attracted to. Each of these people have agendas.
As well-intentioned as they might be, really what they're doing is trying to find a boyfriend for you that they like, not one that will actually suit your needs. Instead, use your social circle to find guys who are already socially "vetted. Maybe you can find a good boyfriend among them. Like a lot of women, maybe you have a long mental list of traits that you'll accept in a boyfriend.
Don't get me wrong, it's important to have standards. Just make sure that those standards make sense. There are many people in this world who scoff at others for dumb, superficial reasons. Many people dismiss potentially good matches simply because they believe that they "deserve" better.
Do you harbor this attitude deep inside? Be honest: Have you ever been a little offended because an unattractive guy approached you? Why did he think that you would date him , right? Does he really think that he's in your league? How can he low-key insult you like that? Can't he see that you deserve better? By all means, don't date a guy who you don't find attractive.
However, confusing what you want in a relationship with what you "deserve" from life is nothing but entitlement. Besides the obvious things like having a man who respects you and is a decent human being, you don't "deserve" a certain kind of boyfriend. With an attitude of deep entitlement, you will either attract no one or a crappy relationship that is based on superficiality.
These kinds of statements are actually pretty common. Lots of memes on social media parade this sort of mindset around. Sometimes, a good man might tolerate these narcissistic shenanigans if you don't actually live your life this way.
After all, most Marilyn Monroe memes with supposed quotes aren't that well thought-out. However, if you actually think this way and live your life with a deep-seated sense of entitlement, good luck. Guys who actually have a strong sense of self-preservation and would make a good boyfriend will flee from you. That being said, you should of course have standards. You need to have boundaries for what kind of behavior you accept from a guy. This is because a person's behavior is a reflection of his character.
So if you tell a guy that you don't like people visiting your house without calling first, and he shows unannounced whenever he wants, that's crossing a boundary. If you tell a guy that you don't want to have sex outside of marriage, but he relentlessly pressures you to anyway, then that's another boundary crossed. Don't take this kind of thing lightly. If he tests your personal space and boundaries early on in the relationship, he will outright disrespect them later.
You want a guy who will take your principles and your personal limits seriously, even if he doesn't share them. Just as some people are raised to dismiss the needs of others and live an ego-centric life, some people are raised to dismiss their own emotional needs and never show them. Sometimes people are afraid to open up and express their real emotions. Even more, they're afraid to ask for what they need, since their potential partners can just say "no.
Opening yourself up is how you build a good, soulful relationship, though. A good boyfriend will be willing to take you as you are and help you fulfill your needs. He will also be willing to be as vulnerable as you are. When you put all your cards on the table, there are no more games.
If you want a healthy relationship, take the initiative and be totally open with the guys you are dating. You will attract much better men this way. Well, it's nothing.
How to Find a Good Boyfriend: 8 Uncommon Tips for Attracting an Amazing Man
My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties and have been together for 7 years. He's a kind, loving and respectful partner, so I find it difficult to explain exactly why I feel this way. Of course, like anybody, he isn't perfect. He can lack assertiveness and ambition which I find frustrating. He can also be quite clingy and easily offended.
The following are 25 ways to be a better boyfriend to your significant other updated on April 27, :. Love her through actions. Walk your talk. If you want to be the best boyfriend for your girl, be a man of action and give her pure confidence. Work your love harder.
How to Find a Better Boyfriend or Girlfriend
We all like the thought of sharing our lives with someone, and having another person to rely on during the tough times. Here are some things that are way better than a boyfriend:. Sleeping spread eagle with all the blankets. Not to mention all the pillows and no sweaty dude to smack you in the face when he thrashes like a fish on land. Hello eight hours of solid, uninterrupted slumber. Coming home to find your snack stash intact. Flirting shamelessly. Hate horror movies? Eating all the cake.
25 Ways to be a Better Boyfriend
Ah, dating. Somehow, despite all of the advances in technology and communication devices, dating can still be really rough. Is his ghosting me? Or Gatsbying me? Is he flirting with other women on Instagram?
Updated: April 18, References. A good relationship depends on love, respect and good communication. Finding a good boyfriend can be difficult, especially if you've been burned in the past by bad relationships. Spend some time getting to know what you want in a relationship, and identify how a certain guy might fit the bill.
20 Tips on How to Be the Best Boyfriend
Thousands of his clients have fallen in love, gotten married, started families, and found happiness, after only a few months of coaching. By helping women understand men—what they think, how they act, and what they really want—he empowers them to make healthy, informed choices in love. Facebook Group.
There are two keys to finding that perfect partner who you can actually have a real relationship with. The first key is to know exactly what you want to see in your other half. The second key is to be that partner. We all know that a relationship is a two-way process. If you want some traits to exist in your partner, then you need to develop those in yourself, too.
How to be a Better Boyfriend: The Best She’s Ever Had
A few disclaimers: yes, I'm aware that this list is pretty much the grossest to anyone who hate-clicked on it. I'm also aware that it is super heteronormative — we have an article about " little ways you know you have a good girlfriend " as well, for what it's worth. Additionally, most of the items on this list are just things that make you a good partner, period. I think that many of the traits that we say distinguish a good boyfriend or partner, or man, or whichever word you prefer are often considered "normal" traits in a woman. All that said, I also don't think that doesn't mean the boyfriends out there who are doing it right don't deserve to be called out for being awesome. The fact of the matter is, men still aren't socialized to be as emotive , communicative, or giving in relationships as women might be. If you're fortunate enough to be dating a man who's using his actions and words to flip that script, well, then, I think that's something worth celebrating, perhaps even to the point of being a bit saccharin.
I enjoy helping men improve their style, romantic relationships, and quality of life. Being in love is one thing, but keeping that love alive is another. An ideal man needs to master the art of both.
I’ve started to feel like my boyfriend isn’t ‘the one’, should I leave?
Dearest Evan, Wow! Thanks for helping me grow! I relate it to a Jennifer Aniston Syndrome.
Women Share All The Things Men Could Do To Be Better Partners
If you want to keep a relationship going with someone you care deeply about, treating them right is essential. This is the main reason I broke up with guys and why most of my friends ditched their exes. Most relationships end this way. Some guys are absolutely amazing people.
Should I Keep Trying to Find a Better Boyfriend?