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I want someone to love me

I hear it quite often. While it might seem harmless on the surface, is it really? Everyone wants to feel cared for, appreciated, and truly madly loved. But this method of thinking about it is dangerous. This thought process could be what is leading some of us into bad relationships.

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Content:

“I Just Want Someone to Love Me”

If you are a person who wants to be in a relationship, have you thought about why? Actually, there are two very different reasons for wanting a relationship. The first is about what you want to get, and the second is about what you want to learn and share. Complete them.

They hope that their partner will give them what they are not giving to themselves and what they might not have received as children. You might be thinking, "Right! Aren't these the reasons everyone wants a relationship? Why be in a relationship if not to be loved, cherished, made to feel special, safe and secure? What's the point of a relationship if not to fill me, take away my loneliness and make me feel okay about myself?

The other reason for being in a relationship stems from the fact that relationships are the most fertile ground for learning about what is unhealed in us, and for having an arena to heal. Most of us have baggage from childhood that we carry into our primary relationship -- such as fears of rejection and fears of engulfment. These fears generally get played out with a partner, which offers us an incredible opportunity to learn about and heal them.

Relationship can be the Ph. Learning about your fears of intimacy, as well as about control issues that may surface with a primary partner, can lead to much personal growth -- enhancing your ability to love. The more you learn to take responsibility for your own feelings -- learning to love yourself, cherish yourself, make yourself feel special and valued -- the more you may want a relationship in order to share your love rather than to get love.

Contrary to what many believe, it's not the getting of love that takes away loneliness, but the sharing of love. The most profound and beautiful experience in life is the sharing of love. But we can't share our love unless we are filled with love. When we learn to fill ourselves with love from our "Source" -- whatever that is for each person, such as nature, spirit, God, the energy of the universe -- then we come to our partner with inner fullness rather than with inner emptiness.

Rather than needing a partner to complete us, we desire to share our completeness with our partner. When two people come together to get love rather than to learn, heal and share love, there is a strong possibility that their relationship won't last. With both partners trying to get loved and filled by the other, and neither one having learned to love and fill themselves, each will ultimately be disappointed.

Very often, one or both might believe they've picked the wrong partner. When two people come together because they want to learn together, grow together, heal together, share their time and companionship, and share their love and passion, they have a good chance of creating a lasting, loving relationship. If you tune inside and honestly ask yourself why you want a relationship, and you find yourself on the first list rather than on the second, do not despair.

You can learn how to love yourself and fill yourself with love so that you have plenty of love to share with a partner. It's important to realize that we attract people at our common level of health -- which is the level of taking personal responsibility for our happiness and wellbeing -- or at our common level of self-abandonment -- which includes making someone else responsible for our feelings.

Given this reality, you have a far better chance of creating a healthy and loving relationship with a partner when you have a healthy and loving relationship with yourself. Margaret Paul, Ph. To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse , receive Free Help , and take our Week eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" - the first two weeks are free!

For more by Margaret Paul, Ph. For more on conscious relationships, click here. Best-selling author, seminar leader and co-creator of Inner Bonding. News U. HuffPost Personal Video Horoscopes.

Newsletters Coupons. Follow Us. Part of HuffPost Wellness. All rights reserved. Huffington Post. Wanting a Relationship in Order to Get. If you ask people why they want a relationship, many will say things like:.

I want someone to love me and make me feel special and worthy. What they might not say outright is that they want a relationship to:. There really is another reason for wanting to be in a relationship.

When these people are asked why they want a relationship, they say:. I have a lot of love to give and I want to share it with a partner, who also has a lot of love to give. Possibly, we might want to have children with whom to also share our love. I want to learn and grow with someone who also wants to learn and grow.

I want to share time, companionship, lovemaking, laughter and play with someone with whom I feel deeply connected. Suggest a correction. Newsletter Sign Up. Successfully Subscribed!

The Difference Between Needing, Wanting And Loving Somebody

Isn't that the way all tragic stories start, the way all hearts get broken? There's this boy, and even though I love him he loves someone else. And even though I would give anything to be the one he chose, I'm not.

Love used to be this thing that I accepted in small doses. I took what little was on offer, always hoping for more and never asking for it or demanding it or questioning how very little was parceled out to me. I had learned that love was conditional.

See, to me, love is not about being beautiful. To me, love is not about possessing this sort of connection that never fades, never questions, never doubts. Because in all honesty, love is messy. Love is complicated. Love is, by its very design, meant to be imperfect.

I Don’t Need An ‘Ideal’ Love, I Just Want Someone Who’s Real

Spending sacred time on figuring out how another person feels about you is a disservice to yourself. Not being desired is never a fun feeling. We can get stuck on a connection we want to transform and elevate into something higher, which is when we start longing for an intimate romantic relationship. But what if instead of that, it was actually a calling to finding greater love for yourself? We seek others to complete us. Pay attention to what this connection is trying to show you. Relationships are assignments for growth.

Why Do You Want To Be in a Relationship?

Mental Health and Therapy 4 comments. Sometimes I feel so good, like when I saw D. Immediately, I felt high, like the colors in the room got brighter. I get it. I mean I hardly know him, but seeing him is like a religious experience.

I want someone who uses my past. Not as leverage, but to learn.

T here are male dating gurus who train men in the dark art of the female putdown. They tell guys that playing hard to get is the way to make a woman fall head over heels; that women prefer men who behave like jerks, with a touch of humor thrown into the mix. There is some truth to their claims: when we obtain what is hard to get, we appreciate it more. Sensing signs of love from a jerk may feel like more of an achievement than from a guy who constantly dotes on us or on any woman he lays his eyes on.

You Can Trick Someone Into Loving You — and 6 Other Surprising Facts About Love

If you are a person who wants to be in a relationship, have you thought about why? Actually, there are two very different reasons for wanting a relationship. The first is about what you want to get, and the second is about what you want to learn and share.

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Everything seemed like it was going according to plan. But then, like a cruel twist of fate, things began to change. My friend wasn't sure if she wanted, needed, or loved her partner anymore. At the time, I was pretty taken aback by her frankness. And, after a minute or two of awkward silence on the phone, this is how I broke it down for her:. Just because you can't get enough of someone now, though, doesn't mean that they'll fulfill you over time, or that they'll satisfy you for the right reasons.

‘I just want someone to love me’

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May 31, - Love used to be this thing that I accepted in small doses. I took what little was on offer, always hoping for more and never asking for it or.

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All I Ever Wanted Was Someone to Love Me Like This

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Comments: 1
  1. Mazugis

    It — is healthy!

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