How a husband disrespects his wife
Please keep in mind that this post is not intended for those who seeking help with a physically abusive relationship. If that is the case, then outside help should be sought immediately and someone who is able must intervene on your behalf. Disrespect in marriage can go both ways. Women can react to disrespect from their husbands in many ways. Does your husband make you feel stupid?
Why Your Selfish Husband Doesn’t Respect You
What are the signs you are being disrespected in your marriage? What made your husband become selfish and disrespectful? How can you effectively deal with his selfishness and disrespect? What is it about your husband that makes him disrespect you? Some men become disrespectful as soon as the honeymoon is over. All toxic relationships include signs of disrespect.
A toxic relationship is one that gradually becomes worse as if you were drinking a little bit of poison every day. Likewise, we can get so used to disrespect that we become numb to it. We need to see it in ourselves and our spouses if we are to deal with it. What is a disrespectful husband?
A disrespectful husband is one who treats his spouse as less important than himself. He is likely to be dismissive of her feelings and needs, which are always secondary to his own.
These behaviors may make it feel like your husband hates you. But it is usually not the case that he hates her if he disrespects her. The three characteristics of a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship is marked by mutual love, trust, and respect. Whenever you sense some double standard or feel mistreated in any way, you are being disrespected.
Any kind of emotional abuse is also disrespect. These are all warning signs that action is needed by you if your relationship is to improve.
Respect, like trust, is something that is earned. With trust, for example, we are not going to trust someone who does not behave in a consistently honest fashion. How trustworthy they are is independent of our personality. Our perception of them, however, is also going to depend on how trustworthy other people have been with us before.
Respect works in the same way. So, it would be hard for our spouses to respect us if we are hypocrites, complain about their behavior when we also do the same thing, or we allow them to mistreat us. Learning how to know if you can trust your husband can also provide valuable insights.
Women who are disrespected the most tolerate or ineffectively deal with harmful behavior from their husbands. You probably find it hard to respect friends and family who tolerate bad treatment from their spouses. Your husband also has one quality that affects the amount of disrespect. On the other hand, a very loving and fair minded man may treat his wife very well for a long time, even if he is not treated so well.
Every man has his limits, though. He may have had parents or ex-wives, old girlfriends, etc. They allowed him to do whatever he wanted—no bedtimes, no homework requirements, no need to call home if he decided to stay out all night. Selfish people will only spend time with you when then there is something in it for them. For example, sexual intimacy for a selfish man means his achieving orgasm.
He has been trained to believe that the world revolves around him. Anyone who does not treat them that way will seem unfair and unreasonable to them. If you have a husband like this, he probably lacks empathy for you and has a hard time understanding why you get so upset. If you complain about him or blame him, he will see you as the problem, rather than his behavior. People with good standards but poor boundaries make it clear what they expect.
Men learn with these kind of parents or partners learn that they can do what they want, with a little effort. So, they:. Being disrespectful, for this kind of husband, is simply a tool to enable him to continue to live a lifestyle that suits him.
The manipulative husband only respects people who have more power than him. Your top priority will be learning how to stop needy behaviors while having strong boundaries. This man had good parents or partners who gave love, affection, and attention. Conflict was low and good times were the norm.
When he grew up, he wanted to be like his parents and have a similar relationship. In marriage he understands the importance of give and take.
He sacrifices for the good of the family. But, if he is treated badly,. His disrespect is a reaction to being rejected. Many such men seem to have undergone a personality change because they have gone from being very loving to very cold. They can warm up again by your consistently using good connection skills.
Regardless of childhood experiences, anyone can become unhappy. Middle aged men often become discouraged because they have not lived up to their dreams. Some men turn inward, shut down, become depressed. Some strike out with anger and selfish behavior. When this happens, the disrespect is:. Mid-life crisis is not a stage of life, because many men never have one. The key to dealing with this type of man is less about boundaries and more about helping him to enjoy what he has.
Becoming familiar with the four keys to a happy marriage can help to prevent unhappiness for both of you. Wives come with their own set of baggage from childhood and previous relationships. They may not know how to balance love and boundaries. They may not know the basics of how to have a happy marriage. As a result, they may not have standards or not enforce them. They may ineffectively nag or criticize—creating emotional distance. In return, their partners become selfish or manipulative.
A dead giveaway that men have been trained this way is if the children treat these women the same way. If you know how to have set good marriage boundaries and can balance that with loving behavior, you can restore your relationship. Relationships without that decline through stages of intimacy, business, roommate, and divorce. Husbands can learn to respect their wives. Instead, I want you to start to understand your husband so that you can have the right attitude for creating change.
No man, no matter how disrespectful, wants to have a bad relationship. He wants to get his way, yes. He wants you to see him as special, yes.
But, he does not want to have a bad relationship. Because he does not know how, you have to be the one to initiate change. Disrespectful men are men who avoid taking responsibility for problems. To improve your marriage to a disrespectful man is a three part process that I often help my clients with:.
This is the correct order for having success in a relationship with a disrespectful man. Debra had been married for 15 years and had two children 12 and She described her early relationship with her husband as ideal. They were best friends who enjoyed talking, traveling, and a good sexual relationship.
Having had two children shortly after getting married changed all that. She had given up her job to raise her two children, while her husband worked extra to pay the bills. She and her husband neglected their daily time together and became disconnected. They would often fight about money and parenting.
Her husband started talking to her with a harsh tone of voice, then became more sarcastic and belittling. He was no longer affectionate and had no interest in doing things with her.
Debra was tired of fighting and wanted her husband to treat her nicely again. He had no desire to work on the relationship with her. Although his behavior was as bad as ever, we worked on how she could start making her husband feel important to her.
We also worked on her talking with her husband in way that would help him to enjoy the conversation, even though Debra would still not be getting any of her emotional needs met by her husband. Setting her needs aside to do this kind of work was entirely new to Debra. She had always tried to meet only her needs or to get both of their needs met at the same time. Soon they were having sex with each other again. Her husband would still become sarcastic with her. Debra had a tendency to want to let this slide in light of their improving relationship.
40 Things Husbands Should Stop Doing
It is a fact of life that no marriage is perfect, but where do you draw the line? A successful marriage is built on love, respect, and communication. When you take away any one of the three, you will have strife in your marriage. A marriage may be doomed if you cannot correct the problem. However, it is important to know what all of these things mean.
Deborah is a writer, healer, and teacher. Her goal is to help people live their best lives every day by sharing her joy and love of life. It is important to remember that the main goal of marriage should be peace and happiness. So, while this list below may seem daunting, always remember that. If life is stressful, then work on changing your perception.
6 Ways You’re Unknowingly Disrespecting Your Wife
As husbands, sometimes we need encouragement in our quest to step up and be the men God has called us to be. Sometimes we need information, and sometimes we need training. Sometimes we need a mentor—someone who will show us how to be godly men, how to love our wives as Christ loves the church. And sometimes we need to know what we should stop doing. Of course, not all of these items apply to all men. But perhaps something here will hit home for you. Second, some readers have expressed concern that this list for husbands has 40 items while the corresponding article for women has
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