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Girlfriend gets upset too easily

However, no matter what the argument is about or how mad your girlfriend is feeling at you, there are some things that you should avoid saying to her…. When a woman is mad at her boyfriend, the last thing that she wants to do is calm down, relax and explain why she is feeling that way. For example: A guy might be in the habit of always putting his girlfriend second and not giving her enough time and attention. He might often cancel plans with her at the last minute, or hang out doing nothing with his friends rather than spending a bit of time with her.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Dealing With Emotional Women

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Stop Getting Angry at Your Girlfriend or Wife

When someone is angry all the time

People with anger control problems ACP often quickly react in aggressive ways when they feel insulted, wronged, or injured, especially when they think they are being treated unfairly. People struggling with this problems often blow up or explode at others. They are also quick to blame other people for their problems, without examining the role they might be playing in the situation.

Everyone gets angry sometimes. In other, less threatening situations, some people try to communicate and find compromises, some try to think of nonthreatening responses, and others try to distance themselves from the situation before reacting. However, people with ACP often react in a way that is more intense and aggressive than what is needed in the situation.

Some of them physically hurt others or themselves. Some take their frustrations out on objects by punching walls or kicking garbage cans.

Others argue aggressively. They call others insulting names, give dirty looks, make threatening gestures, or even hold all their anger inside and stew in their own hostility, perhaps while plotting how to take revenge. The person gets angry very easily, frequently, and with great intensity and may remain angry for as long as an entire day. For example, a man with ACP might get angry with other drivers on the road and yell at them for driving in ways that he thinks are stupid or insulting.

He might even display acts of road rage by following other drivers and cutting them off in retaliation. A woman with ACP might get into frequent arguments with store clerks and scream at them for not treating her the way she thinks she deserves to be treated. Another person might frequently yell at coworkers or employees for doing things that he or she thinks are dumb.

ACP frequently disrupts relationships and families. In these situations, ACP can be exceptionally violent and dangerous to the individual and others.

During these episodes of anger, the person probably notices excessive physical sensations related to stress. The heart begins to race, the face and ears get hot and flushed, muscles become very tense, breathing gets faster and deeper, the palms get sweaty, and the person feels edgy or nervous. The person might also feel a little sick in the stomach, much like heartburn.

These are all symptoms of the sympathetic nervous system response, the fight-or-flight response that prepares the body for emergency situations. Then, when the episode of intense anger has ended, the person with ACP might feel guilty when he or she notices that others who witnessed the situation feel very uneasy or upset.

ACP is often very damaging for everyone involved. For the person with the problem, excessive anger has been linked to higher job stress, increased blood pressure, an increased risk for heart disease, and an increased potential for suffering.

In a study of people with long-term lower back pain, higher levels of anger were associated with a less frequent tendency to forgive others, greater psychological suffering, and, in some cases, greater physical pain. Other researchers have found that people who report high levels of anger also experience greater sensations of physical pain, even if the anger is covered up and not expressed by the person.

Having high levels of anger can also lead to problems sleeping at night, as well as increased daytime fatigue as a result of not sleeping. Other studies have suggested that excessive anger is often associated with other disorders, such as depression, bipolar disorder, antisocial personality problems, self-focused personality problems, and borderline personality disorder.

Unfortunately, there are no statistics on how many people are affected by ACP. However, one large study of 1, people who were seeking treatment at a mental health clinic found that ACP was just as prevalent as depression and anxiety for that group of people. If this rate holds true for the general population, it would mean that millions of people around the world are affected by ACP. The exact causes of ACP are unknown, but certainly there are biological and social factors that contribute to its development.

One theory is that the emotion of anger activates the behavioral activation system within the larger human nervous system. When a person is confronted with an anger-inducing situation, the behavioral activation system causes that person either to confront the situation and express the anger, or to escape the situation and suppress the anger.

The choice someone makes in that situation is influenced by a combination of social factors and inheritable genetic tendencies to either express or suppress anger. However, more recent studies have shown that people with ACP who express their anger often have even higher blood pressures.

Therefore, the problem with ACP appears to be anger itself and not the decision to suppress it or express it. Similarly, in studies of men with classic type A personalities—that is, men who are highly ambitious and hyperaggressive—it is their anger and hostility that puts them at a higher risk for heart disease and heart attacks. Anger is a fundamental emotion that is expressed and recognized in every culture around the world.

Some cultural groups are more likely to suppress their anger, while other groups are more likely to express their anger. Research has shown that children imitate aggressive behaviors they observe in other people, especially when that type of behavior is rewarded. So if a person grows up in a family, peer group, or culture where excessive anger is frequently displayed or accepted as normal, that person has a greater chance of developing ACP.

Other factors also influence anger. There are some very successful treatments to help people with ACP reduce but not eliminate their anger. Many of these treatments—often referred to as anger management—help people identify the triggers for their anger and then learn how to create distance between the triggers and their angry responses.

Many people feel as though their anger quickly overwhelms them and leaves them little choice but to get angry. Anger management treatment aims to create a gap of time between the moment a person feels angry and the moment when he or she responds, providing the person with time to choose an alternative response. One of the treatments proven most effective is cognitive behavioral therapy. This treatment often uses relaxation skills to help manage angry feelings, thought-processing to help reassess triggering situations, and skills training to learn new types of responses to these situations.

Other forms of successful treatment include anger management group therapy, forgiveness therapy, and mindfulness therapy. Acceptance and commitment therapy is a form of behavioral therapy that uses mindfulness techniques, and it, too, might be effective for ACP since it has proven to be very effective at treating other problems, such as anxiety. The antidepressant medications fluoxetine Prozac and nefazodone Serzone have also shown some effectiveness at treating the anger attacks that accompany depression.

Cognitive behavioral therapy CBT is a form of treatment that combines elements of both cognitive therapy and behavior therapy. By combining the two, CBT examines the way people can change their thoughts and behaviors in order to improve their lives.

The CBT treatment for anger control problems is called cognitive-relaxation coping skills. It is usually composed of six steps:. They must learn to identify the situations that trigger their anger, how they experience and express anger, and the consequences of their anger.

They must also understand the demands of the treatment for anger control problems, particularly that CBT is an interactive treatment that requires them to do work outside of the therapy session. The second step of the treatment for ACP is to learn relaxation skills, because it is very difficult to feel angry when a person is focused on feeling peaceful and relaxed. Plus, people with ACP often experience physical tension in addition to their mental stress.

Learning relaxation skills can help relieve both problems, and there are a variety of different techniques that a person can learn. Included here are four of the most important. All of these techniques include focusing on slow, rhythmic abdominal breathing, which often produces a feeling of calmness. It involves a seven-second tightening and releasing of specific muscle groups from head to toe, with emphasis on noticing the difference between the tense feeling and the relaxed feeling.

The second relaxation skill is learning how to release muscle tension without first tensing the muscles. This is done by focusing attention on the muscles and visualizing the tension being released. And, finally, the fourth relaxation skill is special-place visualization. This skill teaches the person to envision a place of calmness and comfort in his or her imagination.

The third step of the CBT treatment for anger control problems is to learn several cognitive coping skills that challenge and correct self-defeating thoughts. These thoughts are often the cause of angry and anxious feelings. At the most observable level are automatic thoughts. These are critical thoughts that people think and say to themselves that sabotage success and happiness. However, in both cases the result is that the person feels angry or anxious. Often, these anger-producing automatic thoughts are the result of cognitive distortions, or unhelpful thinking styles.

This can be done with the use of an anger log. The anger log helps those with ACP identify triggering situations, the resulting automatic thoughts and distortions, and their reactions to the situation. Then, most importantly, it helps them identify alternative coping strategies for dealing with the situation in a healthier way. This last step includes making a counterresponse plan for each triggering thought. This might consist of finding exceptions to automatic thoughts and looking for alternative explanations for anger-producing situations.

It is also helpful to create reliable coping thoughts that can help the person think of the situation in a different, less angry way. As the work on challenging automatic thoughts continues, a person using an anger log might notice common themes among his or her thoughts. The fourth step of the CBT treatment for anger control problems is to practice using both the relaxation skills and the cognitive coping skills in situations that cause anger.

At first, the person can practice these skills by imagining situations that typically elicit anger; however, the person should begin using these skills in live anger-producing situations as soon as possible. Many people with ACP have difficulty making requests to get their needs met in fair and reasonable ways. Assertive communication skills can be very effective for making these requests. Problem-solving communication skills are effective tools for creating better outcomes in all of these situations.

Finally, the last step of the cognitive behavioral treatment for ACP is preventing relapse after treatment is complete. The key to relapse prevention is for the person to continue using the cognitive and behavioral skills learned in treatment and to recognize the early signs of recurring ACP, such as labeling people and situations, in order to take steps to prevent relapse.

Mindfulness is the ability to be aware of thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and actions—in the present moment—without judging or criticizing oneself or the experience.

Mindfulness skills help a person focus on one thing at a time in the present moment. By doing so, the person is better able to control and soothe overwhelming emotions, thoughts, and feelings. Mindfulness skills also help people learn to identify and separate judgmental thoughts from their daily experiences, which is helpful because it is often these judgmental thoughts that fuel their overwhelming anger.

Acceptance and commitment therapy ACT incorporates elements of behavior therapy, meditation and mindfulness practices, and scientific research on how humans think and learn. In fact, the harder a person tries to control his or her thoughts and feelings, the more powerful they often become and the longer they stick around.

The initial step of the ACT treatment for anger control problems is to educate the person about ACP and the nature of anger. According to this treatment, anger itself is not the cause of ACP. After doing this, the person often recognizes that all of these strategies have been unsuccessful or actually made the problem worse. This is because these strategies are actually attempts to avoid and control feelings of anger, which can never be successful.

For example, a man who attempts to control his anger by drinking alcohol actually develops a worse problem, as does a woman who tries to avoid her angry feelings by choosing not to talk to her loved ones about them.

5 Common Reasons Why Girlfriends Get Mad

You just have to know how to patch things up with an angry girlfriend, and we can help with that. You want to address the issue quickly and efficiently so you can prevent a bigger blow-up in the future. Repeat it a few times and you might not have a girlfriend at all. It can be very tempting to fight fire with fire, especially if nasty words are exchanged.

Most men tuck tail and run when they encounter an angry girl. Of the few men left over who stuck around after she started fuming, most of THOSE men tend to become offended and get angry in return, leading to arguments, shouting, and in some sad circumstances, slapping and hitting and violence.

People with anger control problems ACP often quickly react in aggressive ways when they feel insulted, wronged, or injured, especially when they think they are being treated unfairly. People struggling with this problems often blow up or explode at others. They are also quick to blame other people for their problems, without examining the role they might be playing in the situation. Everyone gets angry sometimes. In other, less threatening situations, some people try to communicate and find compromises, some try to think of nonthreatening responses, and others try to distance themselves from the situation before reacting.

Men Reveal The Stupidest Little Things Their Girlfriends Have Got Mad At Them For

Find out more about cookies and your privacy in our policy. ReachOut are running a new wave of recruitment for research about our users and want to hear from you! Tell me more. Feeling very angry and frustrated all the time, or being around someone who is always angry, is exhausting and stressful. You might find that:. Sometimes anger is an immediate response to a specific event, while at other times it builds up over time. When you hold on to your anger, you prevent yourself from feeling happy or positive, because your negative feelings block out everything else. Read our guide on dealing with anger for some tools and tips that will ensure you have healthy outlets for processing your negative feelings.

6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal

Perhaps you forgot that today is your three-month anniversary and your girlfriend went ballistic. If your girl gets mad over something that seems trivial to you, dealing with the situation in a caring and diplomatic way may make the difference between an even bigger blowup and smoothing things over quickly. Knowing the right thing to say can calm her down and diffuse any leftover tension. It doesn't matter how ridiculous, silly or frivolous you think your girlfriend's problem is, outright saying it's "stupid" isn't likely to help your situation. For example, if she started screaming because you showed up 10 minutes late for your date, telling her, "I was practically on time.

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Or you think she is. You don't know. You're tired of this cycle. I get it.

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Subscribe To Our Newsletter! The last thing you want to deal with is a pissed off girlfriend, but it does happen. When you care about someone, there are bound to be emotions on the rise.

Being mad is a normal thing for a person to feel. Even your loved ones, especially your girlfriend, can get angry from time to time. But is her anger puzzling you? Bottling up emotions can make your girlfriend overwhelmed with her anger. You will be the one that has to deal with it. You need to dig deep into the roots of her anger and here are some reasons that could help you out:.

19 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Is Mad At You Right Now

Remember Me? Buzz Articles Advanced Search. Forum Relationships Relationship Advice My girlfriend gets mad at me too often Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 Last Jump to page: Results 1 to 10 of Thread: My girlfriend gets mad at me too often My girlfriend gets mad at me too often I've been with my girlfriend over a year now and it seems like she's changing on me.

Sep 10, - Something that might help too is to try and assert yourself when she gets angry over nothing (If you haven't tried of course). If you're not naturally assertive, and tends to be more passive, there might be some people that might be able to teach you how to be more assertive.8 answers.

Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be. But part of the problem is that many unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture. We worship romantic love — you know, that dizzying and irrational romantic love that somehow finds breaking china plates on the wall in a fit of tears somewhat endearing — and scoff at practicality or unconventional sexualities.

14 Techniques On How To Deal With An Angry Girlfriend

By using our site, you acknowledge that you have read and understand our Cookie Policy , Privacy Policy , and our Terms of Service. Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for people looking to improve their interpersonal communication skills. It only takes a minute to sign up.

Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe we read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be. But part of the problem is that many unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture. We worship romantic love — you know, that dizzying and irrational romantic love that somehow finds breaking china plates on the wall in a fit of tears somewhat endearing — and scoff at practicality or unconventional sexualities.

However, regardless of the circumstances or her behavior, your anger should always be controlled.

Does your girlfriend often pick fights with you? Do you usually find yourself in an argument with your girlfriend either before, during, or after a date? However, as a guy, it is very important that you understand what makes your girl mad. Anger and anxiety cloud both your judgment, and this leads to misunderstanding, miscommunication, and sometimes, even the end of your love affair.

George is a friend of mine whose dealings with the opposite sex have never been terribly successful. He works out regularly, has a good job, and can wire a house, but he has had a series of failed relationships. What has George been doing wrong? The other day he came to me for advice. During our heart-to-heart, I began to glean some clues about his communication failures. He has always said exactly what he thinks, believing frankness to be a virtue. Some of the remarks George had innocently made to his girlfriends had in fact been deeply hurtful.

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Comments: 4
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  2. Galabar

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  3. Telar

    What excellent question

  4. Sagami

    You, casually, not the expert?

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